Let the Spice Flow

Recently, my husband had to get a gift for someone he knew. This person was a guy who took pride in his appearance. My husband, a self described present hater, did his normal deal when faced with the life event of having to give a gift. He panicked for a while, ran out the clock, then rush ordered something off the internet. Of course, the gift did not arrive on time, causing us to have to go to the mall to panic purchase a second gift before the gift giving deadline of the next day.

When he came home after having presented the gift, my husband assured me it was well received, and lo and behold, the gift he rush ordered was sitting on our porch. My husband opened it. It was a cologne sampler pack.

"The internet says this is the best cologne sample box," he told me.

"And the internet probably also told you that you should buy some whiskey glasses and beard pomade," I said.

Unironically, or ironically, my husband was also given a gift, of whiskey glasses... In America, we apparently only know how to buy like five things for men, whiskey glasses and musky scents being two of those things. I haven't traveled extensively enough to know if this is just an American problem or a global issue.

My husband doesn't wear "fragrance" as he calls it. And often he will complain when he encounters a situation where someone is "heavily fragranced" (his words). And I knew something was up the next day when he walked into the room I was in with an entirely too smug smile on his face.

"What's wrong with you?" I asked.

"I just want a hug? Can I have a hug?" he said.

"Are you having a stroke?" I asked.

But he was already wrapping me in a hug. And then I smelled it. He had heavily fragranced himself.

"What is that?" I said, pulling back.

He was giddy. "It's called Let the spice flow..."

He was having a stroke. I simply stared at him.

"From Dune," I finally managed.

He chortled and said something along the lines of obviously.

"You smell like a Dave and Busters."

His face fell.

"What! This is from Pari! It's the best cologne sampler pack in all the land!"

"I'm pretty sure that's how Dave and Buster's smells. It lives in my memory. I think the last time I was in a Dave and Buster's was after prom..."

"There are no Dave and Buster's in Pari!"

We stared at each other across the kitchen island.

"You don't understand fashion," he said.

"Do you think this is a sign from the universe we should franchise a Dave and Busters, in Paris?" I asked.

"THERE ARE NO DAVE AND BUSTER'S IN PARIS."

"Yet," I said. "Yet..."